To The Class of 2013....And Everyone Else

I've been thinking about this blog posting a lot lately.  As a matter of fact, I've lost sleep over it.  Well, not over the posting itself: I stay awake because my brain doesn't shut off, and then I start dreaming up different things, and this blog posting was one of them.  Once I started writing it in my head I couldn't stop, and I had to get up and take a sleeping pill so I could sleep that night, and then work on this posting at some other time that was not 1:00 in the morning.

So anyway, here I sit, trying to remember everything I wrote in my head.  This is my best advice for upcoming members of society.  The world we live is pretty crazy - I am not sure if it's worse than when I graduated from high school 11 years ago, or if I was just young and naive and didn't realize just how crazy the world actually was.  I pay a little more attention now that I have children of my own and fear for them and the world they are going to grow up in.

I do hope you pay attention to what I'm about to say.  Most of it is common sense really.  And you might think most of it is completely ridiculous, a waste of time.  I assure you it is not.  I know I am young (somewhat young, though to a 17 or 18 year old 29 is probably ancient).  Just pay heed to my advice, do your best, and then when you are in your late twenties with a family of your own, some bad decision behind you, and your future and the future of your children in front of you, maybe you'll look back and remember that blog you read and think, "Huh...she was kind of right."

1. Wear Sunscreen
I know I just totally stole a line from Baz Lurhmann in his address to the "Ladies and Gentleman of the Class of '99", but it really is true.  Please wear sunscreen, and whatever you do, do NOT tan in tanning beds.  I did once, and now that I am grown up, I am terrified of the repercussions I may face in the future for doing so.  I have been teased my entire life about how pasty my skin is, so when I was a teenager I made up my mind to no longer be pasty.  So, I took my white butt down to the local tanning salon and tanned several times a week one summer and got the beautiful tan that I had never ever had before. I got a lot of compliments on it, and I loved it!  I knew the dangers at the time, but I didn't care.  Now, because of that, some areas of my skin are starting to look a little older than they should.  Such as my neck and chest - it's one of the first places to show your age, and if you don't protect it from sun damage, it will show your age much earlier than you wish.  Tanning is really quite stupid actually.  Look at many of our beautiful celebrities: pasty white is the new beautiful, because it helps you look younger longer.  Please wear sunscreen.  As I have gotten a little older, I have come to love and embrace my glow-in-the-dark skin, and I will proudly show you my glaring-white legs and offer you a pair of sunglasses.  It doesn't bother me in the least now, but it's one of those things I had to grow up and learn.

2. Never, under any circumstances post/text/tweet/upload etc photographs of yourself or your friends that may compromise your happiness, your morals, your professional life, etc., in any way.  If you wouldn't show it to your mom, your mother-in-law, or your future children, don't post it.  And that's not only true for photographs - watch your language and what you say.  Not only can social media show your TRUE colors, but it can be very harmful to you, to others, and to your future.  I'll tell you a little secret if you didn't know it already:  employers will often look at your social media sites when considering applicants for jobs.  I have spoken personally with employers who have done this, and flat out told me that they didn't hire someone simply because of the contents of their Facebook profile and wall.  Show a little respect for yourself, for others, and for your future.  In addition to this, remember that once it's on the internet, it's there forever.  It is never completely erased.  Don't put a permanent copy of something  online that you won't want there when you're older and realize what a mistake it was.  (see here for an example of what I am talking about))  If you wouldn't show it to your mother, mother-in-law, or your future children, don't post it.

3. In addition to social media, be careful what kind of voicemail message you have on your cell phone.   I know it's all the rage to put something super cute or super obnoxious as the message others will hear just before they leave you a message.  You want to make people laugh and think you are super funny or super cute.  It's actually a total turn-off, especially when you are job seeking and your employers are calling your phone to call you in for a job interview.  When I was a Customer Service Manager at a bank and we were making hiring calls, there was a time or two when I got a completely obnoxious voicemail message and hung up before I could give the good news of calling that person in for an interview.  I guarantee you I was not the first person, nor will I be the last, to do that.  Think ahead a little...

4.  Do not have a floppy noodle handshake.  When I was younger, I wanted to come across as delicate and beautiful and feminine, so when I would shake hands with people, I would go floppy noodle/dead fish/flaccid/whatever you want to call it where you put your hand out there for the other person to take and it just kind of hangs there.  No squeezing, no pumping up and down, no anything. I thought it was the feminine thing to do.  Then came the time when I was about 14 and visiting my Dad in Texas, and I met a confident, successful woman that he was working with.  I did the floppy noodle handshake, and she called me out on it.  She said to me "Don't ever shake hands like that again.  Always be confident in who you are, even if you have to fake it.  Have a strong hand shake, and look people in the eye."  I will never, ever forget that, and I have taken her advice and applied it to every handshake I have been involved in (which is A LOT.  You shake hands A LOT in banking).   Have a firm grip (but not crushing), and pump up and down once or twice.  Look the person in the eye.  Know exactly who you are and exactly what you are doing, even if you have to fake it.

5.  Do not throw away your dreams and morals for instant, short-lived gratification.  Today's mistake  could put your entire future in jeopardy.  Look at all the stories in the news lately about girls who are raped or sexually assaulted at drunken parties where they are completely passed out while she is taken advantage of.  I personally believe that the girl is just as much to blame as those boys for putting herself in that position. It's a harsh stance, but it's true.  She made a very bad decision and put herself in a position for something very, very bad to happen to her, when the whole situation could have been completely avoided.  I blame the boys just as much, however - shame on them for being so stupid. Shame on all of them, and now look where it's gotten them.  Do not ever put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in or can't get out of.  That means having integrity, knowing what you stand for, and having self respect.  I found a quote online a few days back that said, "It is the man's job to respect a woman, but it is a woman's job to give him something to respect."  If you don't respect yourself, no one will.

6. Do not expect perfection.  Allow yourself to make mistakes, and take them as lessons learned rather than falling into the depths of despair over failure.  There's no such thing as failure unless you allow it to happen.  You pick back up where you left off, learn from what happened, and keep going.  That is what life is all about.  I am the world's worst at this, however.  I want everything to be perfect. I want to be the perfect employee/wife/mother/daughter/sister/aunt/writer/sewer/church-goer/etc, and I really really hate making mistakes.  But that is what life is all about.  You pick yourself and move on, keep going, and don't ever let anyone stop you.

7. Do not ever become completely dependent on another person.  Know how do do things for yourself: know how to check your oil and change it if necessary. Know how to balance a check book.  Have a profession, even if you choose to be a stay-at-home mom. Have something you can fall back on in case life throws you curve-balls (which is will) and you need to earn a living and support your family.  Know how to hang a shelf or a picture.  Learn how to fix a breaker if you blow it (like I often do when I vacuum.  Be able to change your own tire if necessary.   Be a life-long learner and learn as many things as you can, so you will always have something to do, something to live for, and be able to support yourself and sustain happiness and independence.

8.Get an education.  You don't have to be the valedictorian or get perfect grades to receive a quality education.  In today's world, education is invaluable.  Again, even if you plan to stay home with the kids, and education is extremely important, and it sets a good example for your children.   Do not be caught in the situation of "I will go back to school eventually", and then it never happens.  I finished my college degree when my daughter was 10 months old and it was darn hard, but I finished, and I am proud of that.  My knowledge and experience are extremely valuable to me.  Make it a priority in your life.  In addition to getting an education, read.  Read anything, read often, read what you enjoy.  The well-read person is the well-spoken person, and there is nothing sexier or more appealing than an educated, well-spoken woman.


9. Finally, but equally as important as the others, find a forever someone to share your life with.  There are different kinds of people out there: some of them are fun flings, but not the marrying type.  Find someone who you can live the rest of your life with in happiness.  That means that they will support you in your hopes and your dreams, and fill in the places in your life that seem to have something missing.  This is not to say that you will never fight or have problems, because you will. It's inevitable in marriage, but always fight fair and work things out.  I have a thing about people getting engaged after only a few dates, barely knowing them, their weirdness, their obnoxious tendencies, their idiosyncrasies, their political views.  I know, it can happen, and marriages like that can (and often do) last.  But I married my husband after being with him for seven years, and there were still some things I didn't know about him until after we were married and lived together under the same tiny roof.  I had a wise woman once tell me to go into a relationship with your eyes wide-open.  Learn everything there is to know about that person (within reason), realize what you like and don't like and make sure you will be able to live with those things forever.  Once your married, keep your eyes wide shut, meaning don't look at those things about your spouse that make you mad or drive you crazy or disgust you.  Because there will be things - and that goes both ways.


I know this is all pretty cliche, but honestly, cliches are almost always true and we just get sick of hearing them over and over again.  My advice certainly won't solve all of your life's problems, but it can certainly help avoid some if you pay attention.  Good luck!  

A Ride Down Memory Lane

You know that feeling you get when you smell something that brings up memories or emotions?  It happens with me sometimes - I have this spray for my hair that's a heat-protection spray, and whenever I use it, I get this deep, ripping sadness running through me.  So far I have been unable to connect a specific memory to the scent.  All I know is that every time I use the stuff I want to sit down and hug myself and cry.   Another scent that affects me deeply is the smell of a campfire.  Countless hours have been spent sitting around campfires, especially with my maternal grandparents, all over the Western United States including Idaho, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas. I have such fond, wonderful memories of most of the camping trips throughout the years, and nothing made Grandpa Nick prouder than a big, roaring campfire to end the day.


Last week I had a slightly different experience:  Matt and I decided to head up to the family cabin for a little R&R during his Spring Break.  We decided to take  route to the cabin which I had never been before, mostly so that we could stop at this restaurant in Boise for dinner and then head out.  After a scrumptious Tucano's dinner, we set out cabin-bound the "back" way through Boise.  About an 45 minutes into the drive I started feeling like I had been on that road before.  I looked all around for something to connect my feelings to, and while it seemed a little familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on it.  The more we got into the mountains, I started to really feel a connection to that area, an area I felt like I knew really, really well.  I asked Matt, "Is is possible to get to Stanley on this road?" Stanley was an area I spent countless days and nights with my grandparents in their big trailer at our favorite campground we called "Elk Camp".  We would stay there for days and days on end - we even stayed so long that Fish and Game came by once and told us that we had to pack up and move because we had been there too long (to which we simply moved to a different spot in the same camp ground.  We had a couple of favorites).

Anyway, as we journeyed on, all these emotions and memories started bubbling up from out of nowhere and I was recalling road trips is Grandpa's old trucks with the trailer dragging along behind.  Happy memories and memories that made me laugh and memories that made me feel sad - it really caught me off guard.  I just KNEW that we had to be on the road we often took to Stanley, though it has been so long since my last trip there that I couldn't recall the route.  I made a mental note to be sure to ask my Mom that night if that was a route we generally took to get to Stanley.  It just had to be.

Later that evening after we were settled in at the cabinhouse, mom called like she always does to make sure we arrived safely and I asked her about the road.  Sure enough, it was a route we had taken often to get to our favorite stomping grounds - it was the long way, but we often took it when pulling the trailer to avoid the super winding mountain roads that made up the other route to the campground.   

What an amazing thing our mind is, to be able to conjure up such strong feelings and emotions by simply driving along and WHAM, having the wind knocked out of you unexpectedly by your surroundings.   There are a lot of things like this that I experience:  the smell and taste of iced tea always takes me back to Texas to my paternal grandparents and my Dad - there was always a fresh cup of iced tea ready when I would visit.  The smell and taste of coffee takes me back to being a little kid and watching my maternal grandparents drink coffee in the mornings. I even had my own little tiny cup that Grandma would put a little bit of coffee into with plenty of milk and sugar.  To this day I LOVE the taste of coffee.  Calvin Klein cologne always makes me think of my brother Karlin, as do Depeche Mode songs and those scented stick things you burn - what are they called?  I can't recall, but I'd know the smell anywhere. 

A combined scent of iced tea and that yummy smell of a cigarette that's just been lit, just when the paper is burning before the flame reaches the tobacco, always takes me back to riding around in the car with my Dad on my visits to Texas.  I remember sitting in the backseat in my car seat and watching Dad drink his giant mug of Iced Tea and enjoying a cigarette.  We used to ride around in a bit truck that had an open top.  Seeing an Indian artifacts and decorations always makes me think of Grandma Betty - her house always had Indian decorations, and to this day I still have some of those decorations I inherited from her. 

Okay, enough of the sentimental.  I just took a funky trip down memory lane and wanted to share it with you all.  That was fun.

I'll give you a short update on what's been going on in my family, then I'll post some pictures from the last couple of weeks.  Easter was a few weeks ago.  The Friday night before Easter we went to an Easter dinner at our Church, enjoyed some good company, and there was an Easter Egg hunt for the kids that lasted all of about 30 seconds (35 kids devoured about 450 eggs in that amount of time...devoured in the run-like-crazy-cram-them-into-your-easter-basket type of devour and not the cram-as-many-eggs-as-you-can-into-your-mouth kind of devour).  The next day we went with Matt's family to Bruneau Sand Dunes.  I had been there a couple of times as a kid, and I remember racing my step-dad down the side of the dunes.  Running down a giant sandy mountain is actually quite fun, until you're nearly 30 and tweak your knee slightly in the process.  Anyway, we took a picnic lunch and let the kids play around (read roll-around) in the sand for a while, then it was off to conquer a giant sand dune (well, it was one of the smallest, but hey! it was work to climb!)  The kids lugged a couple of winter sleds to the top of the dune, but quickly found that sledding on sand is not quite the same as sledding on snow.  They got a couple of slow runs out of and had fun.  By this time everyone was barefoot since our shoes were filled up with sand.  At one point all the kids ran down the face of the dune to the bottom, but on the trek back up something strange happened: a couple of them started screaming and crying.  As I journeyed down to see what was going on I quite quickly found out what the problem was: that was the side of the dune facing the sun.  The sand was hot.  QUITE hot. My bare feet felt like they were on fire.  I grabbed up my kiddos and hauled them up to the top of the dune while my feet continued to burn, and we all quickly put on our shoes and socks and decided to wrap the day up.  We did a little Easter Egg hunt by the lake for the kids, and then packed up and headed home. 

On actual Easter we had a pretty typical Easter Sunday:  go to church (except in our case we are regular church attendees, rather than the twice-a-year-Easter-and-Christmas type), come home, take a nap, then we headed off to my Mom's for a ham dinner and another little Easter Egg hunt for the kids.  Oh, I forgot to mention that the Easter bunny stopped by at some point the night before and left wonderful Easter Baskets full of jelly beans and chocolate for the kids. 

Matt has been on Spring Break the last couple of weeks.  While I was really wanting to take a little trip somewhere for a few days, we didn't make it far (except the cabin for a few days).  Now it is the Friday before the Monday when Matt has to go back, and we're out of traveling time.  But, what I really love about this time of year is that Summer is just around the corner, school will be out, and it's starting to warm up.  The winter was long and cold, and I am looking forward to warm days, shorts, and swimming pools.  Also we are planning a big trip to lay Grandpa to rest in the mountains of Utah where he's always wanted to be (his ashes, of course), and then head down to Texas to visit family and friends.  So far this summer is shaping up to be a great one!

Playing at Bruneau Sand Dunes

Picnic Lunch!

Matt and his Dad hanging out at Bruneau

Sand Dune in the distance.  Ignore the giant bathroom..

IT'S A GIANT SAND BOX!!!

My little munchkins playing in the sand.

Kellen, Keegan, David

Easter Egg hunt!

Keegan after an egg in the tree.

At a park in New Meadows near the cabin.

Happiness is...

I can't figure out how to turn this picture right-side up for the blog.  It's a cool picture of the park!

Who says grown-ups can't play??

Audrey playing in what's left the snow.

The beautiful cabin in the woods.

Look close - there's a face on the tree.

Mountain sky.

Kellen lookin for trouble.

Getting loaded up to go home.

Kellen found his trouble...

We went for a short four-wheeler ride before we left.

Another cool picture I can't get turned!