My Dusty Rocking Chair

Something happened today that made me very sad.

With the older two kids at school, Camden and I spent much of the day together.  He has been sick (I suspect RSV), so we have taken it pretty easy.

We were in his room together this morning, playing with his blocks and jack-in-the-box (which he finds hilarious), having some fun.  After a while I let him play on his own while I tidied up his room a bit.

There was a clean towel laying on the floor, accidentally tossed aside at some point, so I picked up the towel, half-heartedly folded it and tossed it on the back of my leather rocker in Camden's room.

That's when I noticed it: dust. A thick layer of dust covering the back of the rocker.  I stared for a minute at that layer of dust, trying to remember when Camden last held still long enough for me to rock him before bed.  He hasn't really wanted to slow down and read books, and when I have sat down with him, he quickly grows impatient  and wants to get down and play.

It has been a while since we relaxed together in that rocker, singing or reading books.

This realization made me very sad.  My baby, my last one, is growing too fast.

I quickly grabbed a wet wipe and removed the layer of dust, but the sadness remained. I tried grabbing Camden and settling into the chair with him and a book, but he wouldn't have it, even being sick.

I am going to try every day to rock him.  I don't want our rocking years to be over.  I am not ready for that.